Week 49

Weigh-in: 200.8

I've done a little better about tracking my food this week. Although I splurged on a piece of cake tonight that was leftover from my husbands work party.

Week 47

This weeks weigh in....202.4
It was a 2lb loss from last week.j

Week 40

203.8
Let me explain.
Thur, Fri, Sat were all normal days. I was still doing the 30DS dvd. Got up to day 6. Sat, I also ran and walked a ton at an event at my husband's work. Some of it wearing a 20 lb kid.
Then Sun happened and everything went to shit. That morning my stomach started cramping. I had been holding off working out until the kids napped but really started to not feel well and decided to nap while they did. Late that afternoon I woke with 101.2 temp. Still getting stomach cramps. They hurt. Bad enough to remind me what birthing a baby feels like. By Mon morning my temp had broke and was feeling better. But had zero appetite. I survived off water, saltine crackers and applesauce for a few days. I slowly got more of my appetite back. Mostly still getting milder stomach cramps after every time I eat. They are getting better each day. So I'm thinking my body went into starvation mode.
For the most part, I'm feeling back to normal today. I started day 1 of 30DS again yesterday. Retaking before pictures & measurements. Hopefully this week I can make a dent in this 200lb+ crap.

Week 39

201.6
Sigh.
We've been home for just over a week from a week long vacation. On vaca I tried to eat in moderation. While we were traveling (we drove) our stops were at fast food places. High calorie, high fat, crap food. While we stayed with family, I did my best to watch my portions and choose the healthier option. However, 3 nights we drank. Not a lot to get drunk but 2/3 glasses. There was dessert in the house, but did try to eat a small portion. On the road, sometimes I'd get bored and would just snack. And my water intake was ridiculously pathetic. Didn't want to drink much on the road so we wouldn't have make extra pee stops. I mostly drank water and tea, but I know it was no where near the amount of ounces that I need. One thing I actually did right was that I got in 6 runs. I'm pretty proud of that. 

Since we've been home, I struggled with getting back into wanting/craving healthy foods. And my motivation to workout was minimal. I wanted to run, but could not get my ass up in the morning. I'd see people running in my subdivision and be jealous that I couldnt be out there too.

Starting this past Monday, I am doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD. Full 30 days. 10 days on each level.

Week 35

Great week. I did my own version of a juice fast.
My normal fruit smoothie for breakfast. A juice for lunch & dinner. An afternoon snack was typically a protein bar.
Don't have much to say. I'm writing this 3 days after weigh in day. I've eaten horribly the past 4 days. Haven't worked out in 3 days. Monday is usually a rest day for me but I'm gonna do something. And the house has to be CLEAN for next weekend. So I'll be burning extra calories all week cleaning.

Week 34

So I haven't posted in 3 weeks. I don't feel confident in my journey right now. I haven't been losing weight. I have eaten complete shit food. Yesterday alone I ate 5 (FIVE!!!) frosted rice krispy treats. That is ridiculous and I know better.

Today I did pretty good. A smoothie with soy milk for breakfast. For lunch a juice with carrots, kiwi, spinach, apples and grapes. Snack was a protein bar and then I cheated and had a few Colby flavored Cheezits. Dinner was another juice with zuccini, apples, spinach, grapes & kiwi.
Before I came up to bed I weighed the same as I did this morning. So that's a good sign.

Week 31

198

I've had a rough week. Eating lots of crap food. Made an excuse to stop at T.arget over the weekend just to buy candy. So so bad. It needs to stop. I've been ridiculously lazy. Still doing my runs and workouts. After that I just feel like sitting on the couch all day. Not good. We're going to have a ton of people in our house next Sat for my daughter's Bday and I have zero motivation to start cleaning now. Even though we'd just just cleaned for last weekend. It's ridiculous.

Tomorrow morning I go pick up my first race package. I'm so excited! And nervous. Although, mostly just nervous about making sure I get up early enough and parking in downtown.
I've heard The Color Run is crowded so I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep my normal pace.

Week 30

Thursday I over slept and couldn't workout. Normally I still would have tried to do a 20 DVD or something but I had two kids to get ready and out the door for swim class by 8:30a. And it affects my weigh in by a couple pounds so that's why it matters. But with clothes on I was only 198.4. Had I worked out I probably would've been 196/197. I ended up working out Fri instead, but still couldn't weigh myself because family was visiting. I really don't feel comfortable weighing myself naked in the kitchen with other people in house.
Hopefully I'll see 195 or 196 this week.

Week 28 & 29

29: 198.0
28: 199.2

Man, I'm really slacking over here. I don't feel like I have much to say.
I did 4.33 miles yesterday (Sat, 8/4) and only walked the first 3 minutes.
I ordered an elastic waist size M skirt from Old Navy and it fits perfectly.
My first 5k is in 3 weeks.
I've lost 43# total.
I did a fast 1 mile run today in10:37. My normal pace is around 13:00.

Week 25, 26, 27

I've been MIA. Stating the obvious, I know!
Week 25: 202.5
Week 26: 204
Yep.
Pretty bad, right?
I did better this week. And reached a major milestone. I finally got into the 100s. It was probably high school the last time I was in the 100s.
This past weekend we bought a juicer, but I don't have it yet. It's our belated anniversary gift. Long term I want to include juices as meal replacement option. Maybe a 1 day juice cleanse once a month. Something I want to do soon though is a 7-10 day cleanse. Will I make it that long? I'm not sure. But I'm going to try. One day at a time. I need my body to crave fresh, good food. I did what I'm supposed to and went the Dr. I knew it wouldn't hurt to have some blood work done. Everything came back great except my thyroid is slightly out of range. It's not something she want to medicate, but its something to be mindful of.
We also bought a new scale since the one we had stopped working.

Week 24

(Sorry for the upside-down pic.)

As you can tell, I got my ass in gear this week. I temporarily dropped my calories down to about 1300. Some days it was closer to 1500. I'm paying a lot more attention to what my body wants. I started puting spinach in my breakfast smoothies again. I'm watching my portions more.(Umm, except for the 1/2 watermelon I ate on Mon. Nobody got fat eating too much watermelon though.)
Some NSVs....Tues morning I ran 22 min straight. I combined my 4th & 5th intervals. So what used to be my 4th, 5th & 6th intervals are now all one interval. I was telling myself as I was getting to the end of my 2nd interval that maybe on Sat I'd combine my 2nd & 3rd interval. But I got to the end of my 4th interval and I was just feeling it so I kept going. My 3.47 mile route took me 45:30 and I ran 37 min of that. My other NSV is that I officially promoted my size 12 jeans into the drawer. And hung up a pair of size 10 khakis on the curtain rod. (I hang my motivation size pant up on the curtain rod so that I see them when I go to hit snooze. Reminds me why I need to get my ass outta bed and workout.) My good problem to have is all my size 16 jean shorts (that I've saved for 10+ yrs for the when I can finally fit into them again) are too big. 16 is the smallest size I've saved. I'm guessing that I'm between a 12 & 14. I really don't want to buy more shorts. Hopefully I'll be smaller next summer and this summer is 1/2 over already. I just wouldn't get my moneys worth. Guess I'll make due with what I have. I have been buying lots of workout clothes and running gear. Maybe I'll do a separate post on that. I might be obsessed. Buying tops in size Large and bottoms in size Medium. (Fucking Medium!!!!!!) And I swear they aren't so tight that it looks my ass is eating my shorts. They pull right up and don't have to do a dance to squeeze into them. On my shopping trip I tried on a size Large jersey dress and it fit great. Probably the highlight of my week.
Great week for me.

Week 23

Yep. So let's get real. Now  I could blame this all on my in-laws being here this past weekend, but that wouldn't be right. To completely bore the shit out of you, I'm going to list what I ate. At least what I can remember. Remember? That's right. Had I been tracking like I'm supposed [NEED] to, I would be able to look it up.
Anyway...
Fri:
3-cheese Nachos from Qdoba
Sat:
Parmesan Crusted Chicken Caesar salad from Dave&Busters
Fish & Chips (1 breaded cod filet, small portion of fries, green beans)
Glass of wine
Brownie Batter FroYo with toppings
Sun:
Jimmy Johns #5 & reduced fat chips
2 very large slices of DQ Reeses blizzard cake
Mon:
DQ Crispy Chicken salad with Ranch and some fries
Another very large slice of blizzard cake
That's just the bad stuff. I also had my usual smoothies for breakfast. Some meals this week I had a protein bar and fruit for my meal.  My biggest issue this week, (can't believe I'm going to admit this) eating an entire tub of cookie dough. That's right. Thankfully I kept up my running or I would've gained more than 3#. I would feel so sick and miserable after the ice cream and cookie dough but I still kept eating it. It was like my brain took a time machine back to when I was 70# heavier. Am I self sabotaging? Was I using the excuse (read: reason to blame on someone I don't like ) of family visiting to eat like shit?
I'm pissed at myself. When I did WW, I'd gotten about 40# off and then I started falling off track. Gained back some weight. Then I got pregnant. I can't do that this time. I have to keep going. I still have a good 60 (65 now) pounds to lose.
I'm going to track my food again. I might cut my calories. I'm scared to cut too much because that can have the reverse affect. We said we would get a juicer for our anniversary so I need to look into those. I need to make an appointment with my Dr to make sure there aren't any concerns about me doing a juice fast. I'm talking 7-10 days. I think it would be so good for my mind. To stop focusing on food and just focus on what my body is telling me.
Hopefully the next time I see you I'll be back on track and a few pounds lighter.

Week 22

Yep. The same.
My non-scale victory this week is that I'm running 16 minutes straight within my 3.5 mile route. That's more than an entire mile. I've never jogged a mile in my life. It feels awesome! I've combined my 4th & 5th intervals together. Soon I might get brave enough to combine my 2nd & 3rd intervals. This girl inspired me to push myself. Seriously, if she can run a mile so can I. She did awesome! I don't know her. Never conversed with her before. But I am so proud of her.
My non-scale failure was allowing myself to eat an entire bag of PB M&Ms fully knowing I'd feel sick. Sometimes I feel like I'll never learn.

Week 21

That is one sexy foot tan, right?
Had a good week. I'm getting back to where I was with my runs. I still haven't my speed back from before I was sick, but back to getting all 6 intervals in. I'll get there soon.
I've created a cleaning schedule for myself. I do a pretty shitty job of keeping the house clean and I need to be better about. We don't have a hoarders situation going on here or anything. No bathtubs filled with cat shit or 2 year old gallon of milk in the fridge. We just procrasinate for a few weeks, then its "Oh shit, [family member] will be here next weekend. Need to start cleaning." I want my kids to grow up in a clean home like I did. My mom was single with 4 kids. I really don't have an excuse. I'm lazy. I use the kids as a crutch. If R is napping, I don't want to make noise doing _______ and risk waking her. I don't feel like carrying R upstairs to clean our master bedroom while G is napping. The excuses need to stop. I don't want to teach my kids to be lazy. And shit, if my ass is up cleaning that's just more calories I'm burning. Plus G likes to help me do stuff around the house. It takes longer but I know it'll be worth it. I've tried a cleaning schedule before , but its never stuck. Guess I can just keep trying.
Something I've been considering lately is seeing a therapist. I think the smart thing to do is work out my mental issues with food. Of course there's other things I could use help with, but that would be one of my bigger reasons to go. Not sure I can justify the cost yet. If there's anyone reading that has seen a therapist for losing weight, please chime in if it did or didn't help you.
That damn 199 on the scale is so close I can almost taste it. I will get there. Hopefully by the end of June.

Week 20

No nasty pic of my feet today. Let me explain. The first of our trip to Memphis I did great. I splurged but kept my calorie balance for the day. I drank only water even though they had at least 5 different kinds of pop (I was raised in KS. We say pop.) in the house. Sat morning I got out for a run at 7:30. Jogged about 25 min total (intervals) and did just over 3 miles. I had every intention to do the same Sun am. Then at 3am Sunday morning, R (the baby) woke up crying. I spent over 2 hrs trying to get her back to sleep. By 5:30, I was so tired, frustrated, exhausted, etc. I put her back in bed. And told Hubs it was his turn to deal with her. Not my proudest mommy moment. Honestly, thinking back I wasnt frustrated at her. It's because I knew I wouldn't get my Sun run in. Yes, early morning would be the only time I could. It was high 90s and Memphis humidity, an afternoon run was not gonna happen. That evening was out because we had plans. So I figured I'd just switch my workout day to Mon. (Mon & Fri are my off days) During the day Sun, R started to get a runny nose and slight fever. So then we knew it was because she wasn't feeling well. And I of course had mommy guilt for getting frustrated with her.  Well, then R woke around 2am and slept with me until 6:30am. Those of you that haven't tried sleeping with an infant next to you, its not exactly what I'd call a restful sleep. She had to sleep at an incline also. So then my run wasn't going to happen again. We drove home Mon. (Sorry, this is getting long.)
Mon evening I started to not feel well. Tues am I took some nighttime cold medicine and J stayed home to watch the kids. Still feeling like crap Tues evening, I took more nighttime cold meds. I was going to try at least walking Wed morning, but the meds had me knocked out. Last nite I was feeling better so no meds. And had planned to get my ass outside even though there was rain in the forecast. Then I woke up a million times last night. Even had a bloody nose once. And I was too tired when my alarm went off at 5:20. And that my friends is [the very boring reason] why I haven't worked out since Sat.
I feel like the laziest sack of shit! I have never before kept an exercising routine for so long. I'm still amazed by how much I have changed these past few months. I am craving a good run. Hell, even a shitty run. I want to sweat! Not running, is really affecting my mood.
Now back to why I didn't weigh myself. Maybe I lost weight. Maybe I gained a lb or 2. Maybe I stayed the same. Since I'm already feeling crappy about myself ( being sick and not exercising), I don't want risk seeing a gain just have it throw me even more off track. If I see a gain, I know I'll give myself permission to eat crap food. And you all know what kind of cycle that would create.
I will get up tomorrow morning to run.
I will not let this be the end of my journey.
I will get back on track.
I will keep going.
I will meet my 2nd goal of getting into the 100s very soon.
I will be back next week with a loss!

Week 19

If you remember, my goal was to get down to 200# or less by Memorial weekend. As you can see I didn't make it. It's okay though. I am really close.
Even though we will be visiting family, I still plan on doing my runs Sat & Sun morning. I'd like to bump my intervals up to at least 5 min but I'm going to just see how it goes. It's supposed to mid/high 90s where we're going. I have a path of just over 3 miles mapped out. (I'm typically doing 3.5 miles at home.)
I'm feeling a little nervous about eating while we're gone. My sister knows that I'm losing weight so I'm sure she'll be understanding. I am going to try to be relaxed about what I'm eating but also be extremely mindful of my portions. I have apples, pears, and oranges packed so I have healthy snack options.

*Posting from my phone so the picture may be upside-down

Week 18

Ehh. Honestly, I was glad I didn't gain. It was a rough weekend. Hubs was gone. A friend came over for pizza Fri nite. Sat was a kids Bday party. Sun was Mothers Day so we ate out for dinner. I felt like crap. I started over Mon. I've been really working on eating clean. Last week I talked more about my runs. I up'd my first 3 intervals to 4:30 min. And this morning I ran a total of 34 min.
Tomorrow we are taking the kids to the zoo. Of course I'm looking forward to spending the day as a family and getting to see G point out animals, but I'm also excited that I won't have to walk that much and worry about my hips killing me. That makes me happy.

Week 17

...again. I've gotten into that ridiculous cycle of gaining the same weight on the weekend and then losing it during the week. I'm sure some of this is my hormones and such adjusting from no longer pumping. I've also been eating out more lately. I'm working on this. It's a constant struggle to stay positive and remember how far I've come. On the positive side I'm up to 32 minute of jogging (in intervals) and my first 3 intervals are up to 4 min. I'm wasting time so I'll try to explain my typical run that I've been doing. I have a set path I take in our subdivision that is about 3.5 miles. A bit longer than a 5k I hope to get signed up for so I should be well prepared. The first 5 min I walk to get my heart rate up. Jog 4 min, walk about 2 min, Jog 4 min, 2 min walk, Jog 4 min, 2 min walk, 7 min jog, 2 min walk, 6 min jog, 3 min walk, 5 min jog. That's approximate walk times. I use a stop watch on my wrist to time only my jogging. It adds up right though because it takes me 46-47 min. Each week I increase my first 3 intervals by 30 sec. The last 3 intervals I have slowly increased distance. Both work for me. I KNOW I can jog at least 4 min now and I don't have an excuse to cut one interval short. Unless I'm getting chased down by a dog, then I have to stop and walk. :::rolling eyes::: at irresponsible dog owners The last 3 intervals I know how far I can go. I didn't plan to break it down this way. Its just how it worked out. I have certain jogging start points that I will have to adjust soon as my first 3 intervals increase to 5/6 min. While I was running Sat, I remembered how proud I was the day I'd worked up to jogging 14 min total. And now I've more than doubled that. It amazes me how much I have pushed myself AND for how long I have kept this up. I'm still the old me, but I am such a new person. Whether I eat like crap for a weekend or get in a funk, I still don't have a desire to go back to the old me. My kids are loving this new mom. Better mom. Every single day, I get down on the floor with them to play. Its my favorite part of the day and I think its theirs too. And I'm so happy that I can do that physically.

Week 16

Now don't get me wrong. I loved seeing a lower number on the scale this week, but I'm a little confused by it. Normally throughout the week I float around 2-4# more than my past weigh in. Some is clothes. Some is water/food weight. I don't stress over it. I just use it to keep on track and make sure nothing is getting out of hand. This past week I floated 5-6# over. I pretty much knew I was going to gain. I was pleased to see 1.5# loss. Makes me wonder whats going on with my body though. I have gotten up to jogging a total of 31 min. Its in intervals, but I can remember being happy about getting up to 14 min. I really am proud of myself. I'm planning to get signed up for a 5k. Registration has opened yet so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can. This is something I NEVER thought I'd do. I've come a long way in 5 months.

Week 15

1/2 a lb is still a loss. Its not bothering me. I wasn't able to get in my usual Thur am workout. I switched Thur & Fri this week b/c of our schedule. I made today my rest day and tomorrow a workout day. Even though I did take the kids on a walk this morning before lunch. Beautiful 70* weather here, but pushing a 28# kid in a stroller and wearing a 20# baby on my back is a workout. I was drenched in sweat and burned quite a few calories. We have family coming to visit and I know I won't be able to eat healthy or watch my calories as easily. I have to be flexible though or this weight won't stay off.

Week 14

I'm so glad it's showing on the scale that I had a good week. Since mid-Jan I've lost 32#, plus the 5# before I really started keeping track. This also means I have 5 wks to hit my goal of getting to 200 by Memorial weekend. 9# in 5 wks seems totally doable. And if I don't hit it, I should be pretty damn close. I also want to note that I lost 3.5# in a week that I had dinner with friends at The Melting Pot {including cheese dip, salad and dessert} and another night I met a friend for a margarita. You can lose weight without depriving yourself of foods {and drinks} you like. And I only got in 4 workouts this week.
 I'm really starting to notice the extra skin on my arms, my boobs, my stomach. Ugh, its so ugly! I'm dreaming of future surgeries. Getting my boobs lifted is #1 on that list.
And this chica has me inspired to do a 5k. I don't know when. Maybe next spring. There are some really close to me that are in the fall. I was looking at the C25K program and I definitely don't need to start at the beginning. Around the longest that I've jogged at once is 3 min. I've been doing 1-2 min or so. So today I worked on every interval jogging at least 3 min. And 2 of the intervals I got up to about 4.5 min. I was pretty impressed with myself. Yesterday I started using the MapMyRun app to track as I'm walk/jogging. To say I love it is an understatement. Gives me my time, pace, distance, calories burned and I'm sure there's more.

Here's some updated pics...

Week 13

I have no idea how I lost a lb this week. It was a rough week with the kids and my hormones are all out of whack since I'm weaning. I pretty much ate like I was PMSing. More than once this week when I went up to bed I was carrying a full pkg of Ritz crackers and the pkg was empty by the time I fell asleep. I know better but did it anyways. The only thing that saved me was walking 3.84 miles on Wed evening. That walk felt awesome! I'm still really struggling with portion size. Every week, G & I have popcorn Friday. That's our afternoon snack and we watch the movie Cars (his favorite). We have our own popper and I originally made 2 qt of popcorn. I'd give him about 3 cups and I'd have 5 cups. We ate that and I went back and made another 2 qt of popcorn. Why can't I be happy with just a small amount? Part of me wonders if I shouldn't go to therapy. If the mental me isn't fixed then the physical me will never be fixed. I'm not someone that really thinks too deeply about stuff. Nor am I great (not even good) at communication. I think seeing a therapist would help me with that. Help me correct my way of thinking. It's getting late and I still need to get my workout in. I skipped yesterday since I had a girls night at The Melting Pot and ate more than I should have. Plus I had a martini. So I really need to make up of it today.

Week 12

4/5/12 I won't go into details. This isn't a mom blog and most are grossed out by anything breastfeeding. Plus its not an interesting story anyway. I'll just say that I'm weaning. Therefore, I'm carrying some extra weight in the boobie area right now. I was pretty happy to see a 1# loss. Funny how just a few weeks ago I was totally bummed to see 1# less on the scale. Right this very moment I am wearing my size 14 capris that have been my motivation pants. They're still too tight to wear in public yet, but they are on, fastened and zipped up. Our schedule is out of whack this week so I've had to get on the elliptical TuWTh. I'm up to 25 min and level 2 on the interval cycle. Just isn't the same as getting outside. I feel like I should write more but I'm just not in a writing mood. Later

productive weekend

Saturday started out with a 3.6 mile walk. My shoes that I've been using were getting pretty bad. I didn't want to risk hurting something if I tried mixing in some jogging too. Now I have a nice blister on my pinky toe. That afternoon while running errands, I got new shoes. These [pretty]bad boys. I also picked up some new earphones. [Pretty] pink ones. Oddly enough I feel tougher/stronger in girly colors. Getting shoes just for running felt awesome. I guess it's because I'm proud of myself for actually sticking with a workout routine for so long. Yes, 2 1/2 months is a long time in fatland. The highlight of my day was being told I look skinnier. I'd seen someone that I haven't seen since the beginning of Dec. Not even someone that I'm close to. It felt so good to hear. OldNavy was having their 50% of clearance sale so I grabbed some motivation clothes; size Lg tops, size 12 jeans and size 10 khakis. I also found some cute tanks that I bought in XL for this summer. With the abnormally hot spring we are having, I think I'll get some good use out of them. Only paid full price for a pair of bermuda shorts that I know I'll get good use out of this summer. I loved being able to pick size Lg and feel confident that they will fit without trying them on. I've heard/read so many times of how it takes your mind a while to catch up to your body when its comes to size. I dealt with that when I lost my first 40# on WW. I'm trying to be more mindful of it this time. One errand I didn't get to check off my list was the jewelry store. They closed before I could get there. I need to get my engagement rind and wedding band resized. Or at least something done. They are so big that they just fall off. I was also about 70# heavier when we got married. I hate to have to have them altered but I care more about being able to wear them again. Sunday morning I got in 2.9 miles. It took me 43 min and I jogged 14 min. I was trying to push myself to jog 20 min but it was hotter than I'm used to and I don't do well in the heat. My new shoes made a huge difference. I'm so glad I made the splurge.

Week 11

The camera on my phone is jacked up but you can still read the number. For the week I've had, a lb loss is pretty good. I think I'm mostly over my funk...ha. I typed that sentence earlier in the day and now that I'm finishing this up I just finished off a pkg of Ritz crackers. And they weren't included in my daily calories. Other than that I did much better today. I vowed to kick my own ass this weekend working out. I need to go get fitted for proper running shoes. My knees are starting to hurt pretty bad. I don't want to injure myself and lose everything I've gained. It's on my list of things to do this weekend. I am noticing an improvement in my walking to jogging ratio. Makes me happy and excited to see how far I can continue to push myself.

M&Ms are my enemy

I picked up a bag of plain Easter M&Ms for G. I've been able to do this before with little temptation, but today that was not the case. 8 servings per bag. I've eaten 7. I'm in a funk and need to snap out of it. On Sat I went on a search for a few tops. Maybe a pair of capris. I didnt need to replace my entire wardrobe. Just a few items to get me through til summer when I can hopefully buy Large size tops or size 14 bottoms. Even though 30# is a significant amount, I still look like a fat ass in clothes. Especially the trendy clothes that are out now. They just don't hide my stomach roll as much as I'd like. Or at all. So having a shitty day of trying on clothes is making me want to eat like shit. Making me not want to workout. Making me not want to count calories. It's so dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. I should be working my ass off even harder. Because of shitty timing on Sun, I didn't get to workout til that evening. That always throws me off when I have to exercise later in the day. I lose my drive as the day goes on. I am making myself get up before the ass crack of dawn and push myself hard on the elliptical. I really want to go out and walk/jog, but I'm not going out in the dark at 5a. That's just setting myself to get attacked by a dog. Not sure if I've told those stories. If anyone has advice on how to get out of a funk I will take it.

Week 10

Holy donkey balls!!!!  [-25.5# total]


I cut back about 200 calories each day. Just for the week I'll change it back to normal tomorrow. I wasn't happy with the 1 lb loss last week. I know 1#  is better than nothing. I just wasn't happy with how I ate last weekend. I really did the best I could having family visiting. I have a good hold on food/calories when I'm home and its just us, but outside of that I'm still a little lost.
I worked out harder. I did Leslie Sansone's Deluxe Fat Burning Walk DVD twice [4 miles]. It's ridiculously cheesy. Filmed in the 90s if that gives you a clue. Got it from the library. It does make you sweat though. I find her pretty annoying and its hard to get past that [for me at least]. It was a little on the easy side for me, so its definitely for those just getting into exercising. I did really like that it was easy on my knees. Also did my walk/jog the other days.
I also had my low calorie pizza casserole for meals all week. 248 calories per serving [9 servings]. I swap out the ground beef for chopped onion and green & red peppers. Use 1 jar light Ragu and 1/2 pkg pepperonis. It is so good and so filling.

Also want to share this BMI calculator that I found on WebMD. I didn't like the results but I like how it personalizes the calculation. 36.99%, I still have 7% to go until I'm classified as 'overweight'.

Week 9

220.5
A little late this week I was hoping for more than a 1# loss. I actually weighed myself Wed am and it was 220. Not sure what happened. Anyway a 1# lost is better than a 1# gained. I was really hoping to get out of the 220s. I'm more upset about that than only losing one #. Actually I probably gained 2# over the weekend with family visiting and having to eat-out.
I'm starting to get that feeling sorry for yourself b/c I can't eat as much as I want. I keep reminding myself that I want to get in those capris by the end of May. I don't want to have to text my friend that I gained for the week. I'm going to focus on my portion size. Probably the #2 reason why I'm so overweight, sorry obese. I'm never going to be skinny if I don't fix my portion control. And my kids are going to learn portion control from me. Of course I want to lose the weight for me, but my kids are a huge motivator. I want to be their example on how to be healthy and happy, not on how to be fat and miserable.

slacking...

with the pictures
I know a weight loss blog isn't complete if there aren't progress pictures. I've been burned in the past with a family blog that I had for just family. For now, I'm hesitant to publicize my face. I want to share some body pics to have a point of reference.

Week 8

221.5
Pretty good considering the Girl Scout Thin Mints found my mouth this week. 180 calories for 4 teeny tiny cookies. Ouch!
60* yesterday morning so I got to get outside. Which reminds me to see if I made it to 2 miles...2.07 miles. Took me about 30 min and I jogged 10 of those.
The topic of wedding dresses came up between my mom friends. I weighed 60+ lbs when we got married almost 6 years ago. So at about 11:30 last night I decided to try mine on. Its just been hanging out in the closet. Never got it cleaned. Zipped right up. Its huge in the boobie area. That's saying a lot because I have massive nursing boobies right now. I remember it being a struggle it get it zipped for fittings and that day. Made me sad I won't get to wear it again. I wish I could have a do-over and get to wear that same dress, just in a smaller size.
It'd been since the beginning of Jan since I jumped on the Wii Fit. I was hoping I was inching a little closer to the "overweight" category. Nope. Still a big ole'obese lady. Granted my BMI was 42+% and now its 38%. So there is improvement, its just a big reminder of how far I have yet to go.
All I want to do right now is chow down on an endless bag of tortilla chips with salsa and then ice cream. Instead I have 2 kids getting up from naps. Maybe I'll treat myself to a Fiber One bar with peanut butter.

Week 7

224
Yesterday morning it was 56* when I got my ass out of bed. So I decided to walk outside. I actually talked myself into doing some [very slow] jogging. I didn't use a program or anything. Honestly, I picked a couple of cul de sacs in our subdivision and jogged in those. Cul de sac = less traffic = less people that will see me. Why should I be embarassed since I'm the one not sitting on my ass? Not sure. Total self esteem issues. It felt good though. I got to where I'd jog past where I'd said I was going to stop. I'm actually feeling a little sore today.
The hubs even complemented me the other day. Telling me that I just keep getting sexier. It was nice to hear, yes. But I just kinda blew it off. The ole' a guy will tell you anything just to get you into bed kind of thing. Then I got to thinking, this is the skinniest he has ever seen me. As of Feb 1st we've been together 9 years. I later told him Thank You and that I appreciated him taking the time to tell me, but I don't feel like I deserved it. Which is ridiculous. I'm the one that's doing all the work. Nobody else should get credit for it. Not sure if I've mentioned it, but I'm still (exclusively) pumping for my youngest. Breastfeeding burns more calories so maybe I feel like I'm cheating.

I've set a mini-goal for myself that I'm hoping I haven't set myself up for failure. Memorial weekend we'll be visiting my sister. My size 14 capris that I have hanging up. I want to fit in those by then. I'm thinking I'd have to lose 20% by then. That's another 31# to lose. What I experienced doing WW was that I'd go down a size every 10%. I haven't quite hit that yet (even including the extra 5# I add). So I just looked and Memorial weekend is 12 wks away. Maybe it just seemed closer b/c I'm looking forward to it. Now this sounds a little more doable. Pretty sure I'm going to hit a plateau b/w now and then. The reason I'm waiting until that weekend to go is b/c I will be done pumping by the beginning of May. Something else I'm looking forward too. I'd be naive to think that it won't have an affect on my weightloss.

I just used mapmyrun.com to figure how far I went yesterday...1.89 miles. Sweet.

week 6

226 (that's -15# total, -20 if I include the 5 I lost before I officially started tracking)
Where I'm struggling this week is my lack of sleep. I have to  get up early enough to be at least done working out before the kids wake. Then little one is keeping me up late and sometimes waking me in the middle of the night. Usually I only have to give her a paci and get back in bed but its still interrupted sleep. I've tried letting the hubs put her to bed so I can get in bed early but I just lay there forever trying to fall asleep. I just can't shut my mind off.
On the exercise front, I'm still moving. My plan was 20 min on the elliptical Tu, Th, Sa and strength W, Su and take M, F off. Now I'm thinking its not enough. Not because I want to see a bigger loss each week on the scale, but now my body just wants to move more.  Starting Saturday, I'm going to do the elliptical 5 days/wk and strength Sa & Su. I'm seeing my improvement on the elliptical. As pathetic as it is my first day on the elliptical, it took me 20 min to go 1.02 miles. Today I got up to 1.11 miles.

week 5

227.5 (yesterday)
I have not seen 220s on a scale in probably 10 years. I tried on a few jackets yesterday that I haven't worn since my 2nd year of college. And they fit. People I can see the bones in the back of my hands again. Its the little changes like that keep me going. I can see changes everywhere. Except for like my ears. I'm struggling though with that fact that my stupid fat roll on my belly is not going away as much as I'd like.  Its so frustrating to carry my weight in my stomach. I so wish I was one of those girls that carried my weight in my ass. Struggling a little more with the urge to just snack as much as I want to. Especially on the bag of Valentine PB m&ms that's in my pantry. They are my sons. I shouldn't be touching them. I've had a few here & there. The other day I grabbed a handful but I did count it in my calories.

Remember my pair of 16 jeans that I mentioned last week? They fit. I now have a pair of 14 capris hanging there now. My last day of 30DS was Tues. I lost 13.5#. And I only did levels 1 & 2. It took me 31 days because I wasn't feeling well 1 day. I'm thinking I'll wait til I hit a plateau before I start it up again. Next time I hope to do all 3 levels for ten days each. It was pretty hard on my knees and I even modified most of the jumping stuff. I was fearful that once the 30 days was up that I would stop working out. I'm glad I started out with 30DS because it got me in the habit of working out and wanting to workout. Took Wed off, but yesterday and today I did 20 min on the elliptical plus my usual crunches on the ball. Until it starts warming up outside my ass is staying inside. My ball also came with a workout dvd that I think I'll try to mix in with the elliptical. I'm going to start out exercising 5 days/wk and see how that goes.

4 weeks

My jaw nearly hit the floor this morning when I stepped on the scale and saw 230. That's -4.5# for week 4 and 11 total. I can not believe today was day 25 of 30 Day Shred. I have never worked out this consecutively in my life. I love this high it gives me. Don't get me wrong, its still hard to get my ass outta bed in the morning. I actually have a pair of jeans that I can't quite fit into hanging so that when I turn to hit snooze I can see them. It's a great reminder. Once I'm up I am so excited to workout. There has been a few mornings that I haven't been able to workout first thing and it drove me crazy. I hated it. All I could think about was counting down the time until I could workout. I only have a few more days left of 30DS and I'm not sure what I want to do afterwards. I have contemplated a running program. One that gradually gets you to running for 30 min straight. Honestly though, I'm scared. Granted its been a warm winter, but we're still in mid-Feb. I just don't know if I'll find 3 days/wk to get outside to workout. I'm also just scared. Me? The person who has been overweight/obese my entire life wants to start running. It's not possible. Then I think of how good I feel and think of course I can become a runner as long as I slowly work myself into it. Maybe I'll mix it up and do the elliptical and a different workout DVD. At least until we get into April when I can get outside in the mornings.

I totally regret not taking before pics and measurements. Especially measurements since I can see such a difference in my muscle definition. I of course have a long ways to go but I can see such a difference. It makes me happy.

Old Chapter

I should have started this about 22 days ago. Better late than never. Here goes...
Ever since 3rd grade, I have been overweight. Ever since college, I have been obese. I gained the Freshman 15, Sophomore 15 and so on. At my absolute worst is when I graduated college and moved in with my fiance (current hubs). Didn't find a job for months. Ate whatever I wanted. Wedding planning stress. I was working my way up to 3X/26W (approx 288#). Once I was settled at a new job and the wedding was over, I slowly started eating a little better. It wasn't until spring of 2008 that I started Weight Watchers with my supervisor/friend. Starting weight was 280.8#. Throughout that year I got down to 233# but once the holidays hit I lost my focus and motivation. I wasn't regularly working out so my weight loss was 98% from what I was eating. It slowly creeped back up. By the time I got pregnant with my son my weight was at 242#. I did well and only gained 32# with that pregnancy. He was born in November of 2009. By November 2010, I had managed to lose it all but 5#. Meaning my beginning pregnancy weight with my daughter was 247#. In August 2011 my ending pregnancy weight was 266#. Only gained 19# that pregnancy and since she weighed half of that it was pretty easy to lose the rest while breastfeeding. I casually watched what I ate and tried to weigh myself every Sunday. Didn't do great. Didn't do horrible...(9/11 246#, 9/18 243#, 9/25 244#, 10/23 248#, 10/30 245#, 1/10 240.5) See where I let the holidays get the best of me?
On January 12, 2012, I got more serious. I downloaded the Myfitnesspal app on my phone and arranged with a friend to make me accountable for my weight loss. Every day I log my calories on the app. Every Thursday morning I weigh myself and check in with my friend on what I've lost that week.
Starting weight on 1/12 was 241#. Even though I don't have it documented, I know I fluctuated at least 5# more than that since Christmas break. So any weight loss I do have, in my mind I had 5# to it. That following Sunday I got my space set up in the basement to workout, started the 30 Day Shred and here's what's happened since...1/19 237# and 1/26 237#. Which brings me to today, 234.5#. In 3 weeks, I've lost 6.5#. Not too bad. Today was day 18 of the 30 Day Shred. I had to skip one day recently since I wasn't feeling well but other than that those are consecutive days. The most dedicated I have been to exercising in my life. I'm feeling so much better about myself. I can see more of a difference in muscle gained than pounds lost.
There it is.