Week 57

196.8

I'm doing good. Focused. Paying more attention to how much sugar I'm eating.
Almost 2 weeks ago, I went to try on the bridesmaid dress that I have to wear in 11 weeks. Doesn't fit and I felt like my 280lb self in it. Has to change. I don't want to be worried with how fat I feel on my friends wedding day.

Week 54

206.6

Yep. That happened.
I was listening to CurvyFitGirl's podcast the other day. They discuss how they got stuck at the 200 lb mark. She self-sabotaged. She was scared of crossing over. That's exactly what I'm doing. I'm working out 5 or 6 days a week. However, I want to eat like I'm PMSing every day. I find excuses to eat while the kids are napping. I eat mindless calories at night before bed.

I got the phone call today that my bridesmaid dress is in. I'm trying harder to stay focused.
This whole losing weight shit is hard. And everyone says maintenance is even harder. How the hell am I going to manage that? Something I've been thinking of is that I could be a binge eater. I know that I really need to see a therapist. There's no way I can afford it. It took a bit to talk my husband into affording the gym membership we got this fall. If I did therapy, I'd have to give up the gym. Of course I'm staying with the gym.

Well, I need to get off of here now and get my ass in bed. The pretzel crisps have already found me.

Week 52

201.2
Sad thing is that is a big loss this week. Especially considering I've had a cold and had to takes days off from working out. Pretty sure I was around 209. Pathetic, right? I'm feeling more focused. The size 16 bridesmaid dress that I have to ne in by mid-May is helping.
I guess I haven't been very vocal around here because I haven't felt good about myself. I don't feel very inspirational.
It's been 1 full year since I've been on this journey. I started out at 241. 40 lbs lost in a year is decent. Better than nothing or even a gain. But I know I could have done better. Much better! I would love it if I lost another 40 lbs this year. But really my biggest concern right now is to get down to 174. Then I'll no longer be considered obese.

I did make 2 resolutions for 2013.
*Be better about getting the kids outside to be active. They are 3 & 1 so a little limited on what we can do. But I want being active to be a lifestyle for them and it has to start with me.
*Keep a clean home for my kids to grow up in. I am horrible about cleaning. I try and I try to make it a habit but it just never sticks. As the kids continue to get older I hope it'll get easier.

Week 49

Weigh-in: 200.8

I've done a little better about tracking my food this week. Although I splurged on a piece of cake tonight that was leftover from my husbands work party.

Week 47

This weeks weigh in....202.4
It was a 2lb loss from last week.j

Week 40

203.8
Let me explain.
Thur, Fri, Sat were all normal days. I was still doing the 30DS dvd. Got up to day 6. Sat, I also ran and walked a ton at an event at my husband's work. Some of it wearing a 20 lb kid.
Then Sun happened and everything went to shit. That morning my stomach started cramping. I had been holding off working out until the kids napped but really started to not feel well and decided to nap while they did. Late that afternoon I woke with 101.2 temp. Still getting stomach cramps. They hurt. Bad enough to remind me what birthing a baby feels like. By Mon morning my temp had broke and was feeling better. But had zero appetite. I survived off water, saltine crackers and applesauce for a few days. I slowly got more of my appetite back. Mostly still getting milder stomach cramps after every time I eat. They are getting better each day. So I'm thinking my body went into starvation mode.
For the most part, I'm feeling back to normal today. I started day 1 of 30DS again yesterday. Retaking before pictures & measurements. Hopefully this week I can make a dent in this 200lb+ crap.

Week 39

201.6
Sigh.
We've been home for just over a week from a week long vacation. On vaca I tried to eat in moderation. While we were traveling (we drove) our stops were at fast food places. High calorie, high fat, crap food. While we stayed with family, I did my best to watch my portions and choose the healthier option. However, 3 nights we drank. Not a lot to get drunk but 2/3 glasses. There was dessert in the house, but did try to eat a small portion. On the road, sometimes I'd get bored and would just snack. And my water intake was ridiculously pathetic. Didn't want to drink much on the road so we wouldn't have make extra pee stops. I mostly drank water and tea, but I know it was no where near the amount of ounces that I need. One thing I actually did right was that I got in 6 runs. I'm pretty proud of that. 

Since we've been home, I struggled with getting back into wanting/craving healthy foods. And my motivation to workout was minimal. I wanted to run, but could not get my ass up in the morning. I'd see people running in my subdivision and be jealous that I couldnt be out there too.

Starting this past Monday, I am doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD. Full 30 days. 10 days on each level.