Week 54

206.6

Yep. That happened.
I was listening to CurvyFitGirl's podcast the other day. They discuss how they got stuck at the 200 lb mark. She self-sabotaged. She was scared of crossing over. That's exactly what I'm doing. I'm working out 5 or 6 days a week. However, I want to eat like I'm PMSing every day. I find excuses to eat while the kids are napping. I eat mindless calories at night before bed.

I got the phone call today that my bridesmaid dress is in. I'm trying harder to stay focused.
This whole losing weight shit is hard. And everyone says maintenance is even harder. How the hell am I going to manage that? Something I've been thinking of is that I could be a binge eater. I know that I really need to see a therapist. There's no way I can afford it. It took a bit to talk my husband into affording the gym membership we got this fall. If I did therapy, I'd have to give up the gym. Of course I'm staying with the gym.

Well, I need to get off of here now and get my ass in bed. The pretzel crisps have already found me.

Week 52

201.2
Sad thing is that is a big loss this week. Especially considering I've had a cold and had to takes days off from working out. Pretty sure I was around 209. Pathetic, right? I'm feeling more focused. The size 16 bridesmaid dress that I have to ne in by mid-May is helping.
I guess I haven't been very vocal around here because I haven't felt good about myself. I don't feel very inspirational.
It's been 1 full year since I've been on this journey. I started out at 241. 40 lbs lost in a year is decent. Better than nothing or even a gain. But I know I could have done better. Much better! I would love it if I lost another 40 lbs this year. But really my biggest concern right now is to get down to 174. Then I'll no longer be considered obese.

I did make 2 resolutions for 2013.
*Be better about getting the kids outside to be active. They are 3 & 1 so a little limited on what we can do. But I want being active to be a lifestyle for them and it has to start with me.
*Keep a clean home for my kids to grow up in. I am horrible about cleaning. I try and I try to make it a habit but it just never sticks. As the kids continue to get older I hope it'll get easier.