Thursday, May 31, 2012

Week 20

No nasty pic of my feet today. Let me explain. The first of our trip to Memphis I did great. I splurged but kept my calorie balance for the day. I drank only water even though they had at least 5 different kinds of pop (I was raised in KS. We say pop.) in the house. Sat morning I got out for a run at 7:30. Jogged about 25 min total (intervals) and did just over 3 miles. I had every intention to do the same Sun am. Then at 3am Sunday morning, R (the baby) woke up crying. I spent over 2 hrs trying to get her back to sleep. By 5:30, I was so tired, frustrated, exhausted, etc. I put her back in bed. And told Hubs it was his turn to deal with her. Not my proudest mommy moment. Honestly, thinking back I wasnt frustrated at her. It's because I knew I wouldn't get my Sun run in. Yes, early morning would be the only time I could. It was high 90s and Memphis humidity, an afternoon run was not gonna happen. That evening was out because we had plans. So I figured I'd just switch my workout day to Mon. (Mon & Fri are my off days) During the day Sun, R started to get a runny nose and slight fever. So then we knew it was because she wasn't feeling well. And I of course had mommy guilt for getting frustrated with her.  Well, then R woke around 2am and slept with me until 6:30am. Those of you that haven't tried sleeping with an infant next to you, its not exactly what I'd call a restful sleep. She had to sleep at an incline also. So then my run wasn't going to happen again. We drove home Mon. (Sorry, this is getting long.)
Mon evening I started to not feel well. Tues am I took some nighttime cold medicine and J stayed home to watch the kids. Still feeling like crap Tues evening, I took more nighttime cold meds. I was going to try at least walking Wed morning, but the meds had me knocked out. Last nite I was feeling better so no meds. And had planned to get my ass outside even though there was rain in the forecast. Then I woke up a million times last night. Even had a bloody nose once. And I was too tired when my alarm went off at 5:20. And that my friends is [the very boring reason] why I haven't worked out since Sat.
I feel like the laziest sack of shit! I have never before kept an exercising routine for so long. I'm still amazed by how much I have changed these past few months. I am craving a good run. Hell, even a shitty run. I want to sweat! Not running, is really affecting my mood.
Now back to why I didn't weigh myself. Maybe I lost weight. Maybe I gained a lb or 2. Maybe I stayed the same. Since I'm already feeling crappy about myself ( being sick and not exercising), I don't want risk seeing a gain just have it throw me even more off track. If I see a gain, I know I'll give myself permission to eat crap food. And you all know what kind of cycle that would create.
I will get up tomorrow morning to run.
I will not let this be the end of my journey.
I will get back on track.
I will keep going.
I will meet my 2nd goal of getting into the 100s very soon.
I will be back next week with a loss!

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